Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
