barbara walters just said penis...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
false alarm, still single
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
