You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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