party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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