So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had to cum in my sink.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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