So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
