Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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