weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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