First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
