would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
