I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
