I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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