Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
