If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
