I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
