Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
