Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
