don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
