I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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