I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
