I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
