I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
