With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
