i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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