I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
