shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
