I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
