Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
