We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
