So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
