Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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