yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
