I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
