Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize