i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
my liver is dry heaving
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize