I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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