i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
