My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
