the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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