weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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