Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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