wat bout pragnant strippers??
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
