I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
look no pants
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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