I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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