I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
