I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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