i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
