you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dignity is for republicans.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
