im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
