Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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