If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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