You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I have feelings that need drinking.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
