i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I will pee on everything he values.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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