Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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