I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
