I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My vagina is very pro this idea
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
