We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
