Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
