Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
