i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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