All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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