Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
