He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
