I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
