Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
