sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
